


Don't Look At Me That Way

by inmyrosegarden



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, skins meets shamless kind of not really but i tried not really well that's my inspiration lol, this fic has been abandoned :(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-11 18:55:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmyrosegarden/pseuds/inmyrosegarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school AU. In which Louis is a selfless teenager who helps his family get by in their shitty neighborhood. When he gets a new job at the local bakery though, things change thanks to the boy with green eyes that Louis used to know so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWh5YR8sVrI/) as well as two shows that i love quite a lot.
> 
> idk about the length of this fic yet, but it will be multi-chaptered. i hope you guys like it and leave me feedback. thanks so much for reading! ♡

Mornings are the worst in the Tomlinson household.

Louis wakes up first at 5:30 AM. He has to rush through his morning routine (which is basically taking a piss, brushing his teeth, and putting on some clothes that don’t reek) before he all but sprints downstairs to make breakfast. Before he gets to the kitchen though, he usually trips over a toy on the stairs that makes him stumble down the last two or three steps. Sure, he gets mad but he doesn’t do anything about it because he’s found that being angry makes him work faster. The incessant throbbing of his toes pushes him to make breakfast faster so that _maybe_ the food will be on the table faster and _maybe_ he’ll be able to sit down for a couple of seconds before he has to go wake up his sisters.

Yeah. That never happens.

In the big heavy duty frying pan, Louis cracks open six eggs and waits for them to take ship in the pan. Then, he takes a spatula and moves them around a bit, scrambling them all together. After putting the stove on low, he puts four pieces of toast in the toaster and then runs back upstairs.

“Lottie!” He calls, running to the end of the hallway upstairs. “Get up! Breakfast in five!” He pounds on her door.

Turning to the room next to Lottie’s, Louis cracks open the door. “Fizz! Pheebs! Dais! Upupup! Breakfast in five!”

He turns to the closet in the room and picks out some black tights and a baggy sweater for Fizzy. Five years of practice, and Louis knows better than his own sisters what their individual styles are. Fizzy, who has thankfully made it out of bed by now, grabs her clothes from Louis’ hands with her eyes still half shut. Louis turns to the wardrobe that’s also crammed into the room and pulls out matching skinny jeans for his younger sisters. He picks out an orange top for Phoebe and a blue top for Daisy and he throws their clothes on each of their beds.

“Little ones,” he murmurs, first lightly shaking Phoebe (on the lower bunk) and then shaking Daisy (on the top bunk). “Get up before the tickle monster comes.”

Daisy giggles and sits up, carefully so as not to hit her head on the ceiling. “No tickle monster ‘cos that means we’re gonna get burnt breakfast.”

“Shit,” Louis sighs. “Breakfast.”

Daisy giggles as she climbs down the little ladder on the side of their bed. “Go save breakfast, Lou. I’ll wake up Pheebs!”

With a kiss to her forehead, Louis says, “You’re a lifesaver,” to his nine year old sister before he’s making his way downstairs again. Thankfully, this time, Louis doesn’t trip over another toy. He thinks his foot sends his brain a thank you, because Louis is— _cool_ like that.

Lottie’s sitting at the breakfast table reading a magazine. Louis rolls his eyes at the sight before going back to the stove and running the spatula through the almost-burnt eggs.

“If you were already down here you coulda helped with breakfast,” Louis says without looking at his sister.

She doesn’t reply.

Louis shakes his head and pours the eggs onto a large plate. Then, he pulls out five smaller ones from the cupboard next to the fridge and scurries to the breakfast table.

Fizzy is sitting next to Lottie but they’re both turned away from each other. “Mornin’ Lou,” Fizzy chirps, smiling slightly.

“Hey, love. Sleep well?” Louis asks as he places the plates on the table. Lottie forks some eggs onto her plate before turning away from her siblings again. Louis can’t help but flinch at the cold vibes he’s getting from his fourteen year old sister, even though it’s the same every day.

Fizzy, who’s thirteen but mature for her age, rolls her eyes at Lottie and pours herself her own breakfast. “Meh,” she says finally. “I hate school nights.”

“Not more than I do,” Louis says as he rushes over to the fridge. He pulls out a jug of milk and a bottle of orange juice and after grabbing four glasses—which he manages to carry _all at once_ without dropping, thank you very much—he carefully puts them on the table. Daisy and Phoebe are finally at the table, looking up at him expectantly when he does so.

“Toast?” Phoebe croaks. She had a fever the night before and she still looks quite pale that morning. Louis sighs and nods before going back to the toaster. He takes out two pieces of toast—which are now cold and quite hard, but whatever, the kids are used to it—and places each piece on a different plate. He picks out to jams from the fridge—one strawberry and the other blueberry—and walks back over to the table, thinking that his feet have surely carved out a pathway on the tiles because of the amount of times that he walks from the kitchen area to the dining table each day.

“Thanks, Lou!” Each twin says after Louis places their breakfast in front of them. Once they’ve both started spreading their jams on their bread, Louis heads back into the kitchen and turns on the kettle to make some tea for himself and his mother.

Each girl makes her own lunch the night before school and places it in the fridge, as their mother suggested it would help keep Louis from going completely insane. Louis pulls out the four paper bags from the middle shelf of the fridge and checks to make sure each bag has food and a mini bottle of water inside. Finally, after he’s content with the bags, he places them on the counter and pours the now-hot water into a mug for his mum and a foam cup for himself.

He makes both his mum’s tea and his own, and by the time he’s finished, the girls are done with their breakfast and are placing their dirty dishes in the sink.

“Lotts, can you put everything back in the fridge? And Fizz, could you cover the left-over breakfast for mum?” His sisters do as their told and Louis kisses each of the twins on the forehead before shooing them off to put on their slickers and their wellies, as it’s raining outside. Again.

Louis picks up his mum’s tea and sighs. Turning to the two older girls, he says, “Make sure the little ones get—“

“--on their bus,” Lottie and Fizzy continue in unison.

Louis laughs and starts up the stairs. “Have a good day, yeah?”

“You too!” Fizzy hollers after him. It only hurts Louis a little that Lottie’s back to ignoring him. He shrugs it off, though; he’s used to it.

“Mum,” Louis calls as he knocks on his mother’s door. Without waiting for a reply, he walks in.

Jay’s room is dark. The curtains are thick and they don’t let any sunlight it when they’re drawn. She’s huddled in the middle of her bed under three different blankets and she looks so small, so young in her sleep. Louis takes a deep breath and puts the tea down on the one night table that’s in the room. “Mum? You should get up now.”

“Hmm?” Jay mumbles as she stretches. Sleepily, she opens her eyes; Louis notices they smile back at him once his figure comes into focus.

“You’ve got to get to work in an hour,” Louis explains. He moves to the windows and pulls apart the heavy curtains. Jay groans when the room fills with light, and Louis giggles at his mum’s reaction.

“Why can’t the two of us just stay home and watch TV,” she whines exaggeratedly.

Louis giggles again. “Surely you don’t want to get fired.”

Jay shakes her head and reaches out for her tea. “Nope, I don’t.” Then, after she takes a sip, “Thanks, boo. For everything.”

Louis smiles and shrugs. “I do what I can, mum. I play my part.”

“We’d be dead without you,” Jay chuckles.

Louis rolls his eyes and walks to the door. “I’d love to chat, but. School.”

“Oh yes. Hell awaits you,” Jay snorts.

Louis smiles. “Oh, and mum?”

“Hmm?” Jay hums as she takes another sip of her tea.

“I got the job. At that bakery I told you about? Mandeville?”

Jay’s eyes light up. “Really!? That’s wonderful, darling!”

“Mhm. Now we can maybe pay the bills on time.”

Jay sighs. “Speaking of bills—“

“Oh no.” Louis says, eyes widening comically. “What happened this time?”

“Nothing happened, silly. I just need you to drop off the power bill after school today.”

Louis nods. “Will do. Are the money and papers in the usual spot?”

“Yep. And Lisa gave me an extra shift tonight at the hospital, so I’ll be back at around midnight.”

Frowning, Louis says, “Mum, you didn’t have to do that—“

 “Yes I did,” Jay raises her eyebrows after cutting her son off. “I’m lucky I have a steady job as a nurse that pays okay. I’m going to take whatever opportunity I can get to be paid a little bit extra. It helps us in the long run, Lou.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Louis licks his lips. “Can you make a snack for the girls so they’ll have something to eat before dinner? I’ve got to go to the bakery right after school to train.”

“’Course, babe. Take care of yourself, alright? And don’t forget the bill unless you wanna spend the next three nights in the dark.”

Louis snorts. “Like I could forget. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess. Love you, mum.”

Jay smiles and raises her cuppa. “Love you, Lou.”

Checking his crappy phone, Louis notes that it’s 6:45 AM. He’s got to be at school in forty minutes for first period, so he rushes into his terribly messy room, grabs his old backpack and his bus pass, and makes his way downstairs again, kicking his sister’s toy out of the way.

He makes his way over to the cupboard above the sink. He eases the old door open carefully and reaches inside for the rusty cookie jar his family keeps up there. Inside are a bunch of important papers and envelopes with a little bit of extra cash in them. One envelope, one that’s actually filled with money from his contributions as well as his mum’s, says _power bill_ on it. Louis pulls it out and puts it inside his backpack, underneath all his books and papers, just in case someone tries to rob him. He then returns the cookie jar to its place in the otherwise abandoned cabinet, grabs his foam cup full of cold tea, and heads to the front door.

As Louis puts on ratty old converse, he can’t help but notice how run-down his house is. His mum always cleans up before she goes off to work but no amount of vacuuming or dusting could make their house look good. There are things everywhere, stored in every nook and cranny. Compared to other families around town, their house is actually quite small. They’ve got six people living in a house with four bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room. Given that five of them are girls, and also given that his mum is a pack-rat (she thinks that with them being poor, they can’t afford to throw anything except garbage out—they might “need it” sometimes), they’ve got a lot of things lying around. That plus the fact that they live in a thirty year old house means that it all looks quite messy; even when, in reality, the house is clean.

Locking up the house, Louis sighs and begins his walk to the bus stop. It’s only five minutes on foot from his house, but the actual bus ride to his school takes about fifteen minutes. He lives in one of the shittier parts of town, one with high crime rates and higher birth rates, and his mum made sure that he went to a better school than the one in this neighborhood. That being said, the actual school Louis goes to is still pretty shitty. Most students there seem almost as bad as the lowlifes in Louis’ neighborhood.

He really wishes that he could move his family out of this area. He wishes he could win the lottery or something so that he wouldn’t end up flipping burgers for the rest of his life because his grades and his mother’s income sure as hell aren’t enough to get him into a decent school. Louis knows that he doesn’t have good luck though. He knows that he’s not destined for success because of where he comes from. He knows that after this year, after his last year in high school, he’ll be stuck at home raising his sisters while his mum works her shitty job at the hospital, scraping together just enough money to get them by.

It still bothers him, is the thing. He wants to get out of here, he really does. But his family means more than that to him. He knows they _need_ him. His mum admitted it herself, just that morning. They’d be god knows where without him.

Louis takes a final sip of his tea when he finally arrives at his bus stop. He throws the cup into a nearby trash can and is about to stick his headphones into his old iPod Nano. Before he can do so, however, someone pokes his shoulder.

Louis turns around, eyebrows raised. “Hey, mate,” he says finally when he sees that it’s none other than Zayn Malik, his insufferable best mate.

“Lou,” Zayn acknowledges as he takes a final puff of his cigarette. He then crushes it with the toe of his shoe. “Y’alright?”

“I think so,” Louis replies. “You?”

Zayn shrugs. “How’s your mum?”

The bus pulls up just then and Louis holds off on replying until he has swiped his metro card inside and taken a seat in the back. When he feels Zayn sit next to him, Louis turns to face him again. “Y’know mum. She seems alright, y’know? Just workin’ too hard.”

Zayn shakes his head and leans back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. “So are you, though. You doof.”

Louis shoves his friend. “I got the job at the bakery.”

“My point exactly.”

“I’m only trying to make things easier on my mum,” Louis explains for the millionth time.

“Yeah I know, Mother Teresa. You need a break though. D’you wanna come to a party with me on Friday?”

“Can’t,” Louis says without thinking much. “You know my mum works late on Fridays. I’ve gotta take care of the girls.”

Zayn sighs. “Your mum works late _every day_ Louis.”

Louis just shrugs in response. Zayn’s right.

They sit the next ten minutes in silence. Louis leans his head against the cool window and watches the city go by. It feels as though he’s seeing the same things and the same people, over and over again.

“Lou,” Zayn says finally, breaking the silence. “How about your sisters go over to mine for a sleepover on Friday?”

Louis turns to his friend. “Zayn, I’m not gonna throw my sisters into your house so I can go to a party and get drunk.”

“Oh Lou,” Zayn pouts. “You _know_ my mum doesn’t mind! Plus, Safa loves Daisy and Pheebs. And you _know_ Fizz and Waliyha are best friends. And Lottie looks up to Doniya so much! They’ll love it. Seriously.” Zayn looks earnest and desperate and Louis rolls his eyes.

“Ask your mum and get back to me.”

“I just texted her,” Zayn beams, smug. “She said ‘course.”

Louis licks his lips and thinks about it. The bus finally comes to a stop across from their school and he and Zayn both get off.

Once they’ve crossed the street and are standing in front of school gate, Louis sighs. “Fine. I’ll go to the stupid party if you _promise_ to leave me alone after that.”

“Only if you promise not to back out of this.”

Louis sighs. “Fiiiine.”

Zayn whoops and hollers and pats Louis on the back as they make their way over to the back of the school where all the picnic tables are located. “That’s m’boy,” he says excitedly.

“What did he do?” Liam asks Louis as they come to a stop at their regular table. He’s sitting there with his backpack on the table, Quaker’s Chewy Bar in hand. He thrusts the granola bar at Louis who accepts it with a grateful, “Thanks mate.”

Liam smiles at him and turns back to Zayn. “So…?”

“He’s comin’ to the party with us on Friday!” Zayn says excitedly.

Just then, the school bell rings. All the students get up from their spots in the courtyard and they all form a crowd, making their way into the old and gray school building.

“Wait,” Liam says after a while, when they’re at Louis’ locker. “I just remembered something.”

“What?” Louis smiles at his confused friend whose nose is scrunched up.

“That’s Niall Horan’s party,” Liam hisses.

Louis groans and turns to Zayn who pretends to be texting on his phone. He slams his locker shut and pushes Zayn’s arm. “You _knew_!You arsehole!”

“To be fair, I knew you were gonna act like this if I told you whose party it was,” Zayn smirks. “And, would’ya look at that? I was _right_.”

 “You’re a jerk,” Louis pouts. “Can we please just do pizza and football at my house instead?”

“Hell no,” Liam cuts in. “I’m tired of that, mate.” Then, after a second of pondering, he adds in guiltily, “No offense.”

“None taken,” Louis mutters.

“You’re going to that party,” Zayn asserts. “I don’t care that you don’t get along with some of Niall’s friends. He’s a good guy and his party’s are always the best.”

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” Louis asks Liam tiredly whilst ignoring Zayn’s continuous ramblings completely.

Liam looks apologetic. “I don’t think so, mate.”

Louis rolls his eyes and waves at his friends as he finally reaches his first period class.

His heart skips a beat when the first thing he sees inside the classroom is a pair of round green eyes staring back at him.

***

The rest of the school day is uneventful, mercifully. Originally, Louis intended to go home and have lunch before heading over to the bakery for training. But what with his mum’s request to turn in the power bill, Louis figures he should just get that over with first and head over to the bakery right afterwards.

Going to the electric company’s office is a bit of a mission, since it’s on the other side of town. It takes half an hour for Louis to get there, but thankfully there aren’t that many people in the office so he gets the job done quickly enough. Then, it takes Louis another twenty minutes back in the direction of school in order to reach the bakery.

It looks quaint from the outside. The building itself is old and yellow but somehow, it looks warm and home-y. Louis takes a deep breath and walks into the bakery.

Louis is met with warmth and dim lighting. The whole bakery is squeaky clean and it’s quite empty. There’s no one at the cash register and there’s no one seated at any of the tables.

Louis gulps. “Hello?”

Suddenly, there’s some sort of banging coming from the back of the kitchen. “Louis?”

“Yeah? Is that Martha?”

Louis hears a chuckle. “Yes, hun. Sorry, I’ll be right there!”

“It’s no problem,” Louis replies. He makes his way over to the glass display cases and looks at the pastries and cakes sitting inside. His stomach lets out a bit of a growl.

“D’you like what you see?”

Louis looks up, startled at the sound of another voice so close to him. It’s Martha, the bakery owner’s granddaughter. She’s adorably chubby and has got a bright blonde bob framing her face gently. Her brown eyes are warm and kind and Louis can’t help but smile at her.

“I do, actually,” Louis chuckles. “How are you?”

“Great,” Martha replies, smiling. “And yourself?”

“Fine thanks,” Louis smiles back.

“Ready to get started today?”

“’Course! I’m here for as long as you need.”

“Good,” Martha says, taking off her apron. “I’d love to stay and teach you the ropes, but I’ve actually got to run home. My daughter’s having a ballet recital tonight.”

“That’s no problem,” Louis says. “D’you have someone else that’s going to teach me what to do or?”

Martha nods and pulls on her coat. “Yeah, I do. Gimme a sec.” She heads over to the kitchen door. “Harry! Could you come out here, hun?”

Louis’ stomach knots uncomfortably as he hears the name. His heart rate picks up speed and his hands start sweating. The name _has_ to be a coincidence it just—

“Louis,” Martha says sweetly. “This is Harry,” she says, pointing at a tall boy with a lanky frame. His chocolate curls are tucked underneath a blue beanie and his green eyes are wide and shocked.

Louis remembers everything about this boy that’s standing in front of him. He supposes he should say something, but he doesn’t quite remember how to get his mouth to open.

Martha gauges their reactions with her brows furrowed. Before she can say anything though, Harry clears his throat.

“Hi Louis,” he says gently, holding up a hand to awkwardly wave a little.

Louis smiles a little. “Hey.”

“You two know each other?” Martha says, shocked.

“Yeah,” both Harry and Louis reply at the same time.

“Well,” Martha says. “That’s good then.” She turns to Harry. “You’ll teach Louis the ropes, yeah? And teach ‘im how to lock up.” She then looks over at Louis. “We close at 10 PM. You two will be in charge of cleaning up afterwards and then locking up on your way out. Got it?”

Louis nods, sure that he’s lost his voice again.

“Good,” Martha says happily. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Martha’s heeled boots clink against the wooden floor as she walks around the counter and out the front door. Louis watches her leave and then, almost as though he’s scared, he turns around to face Harry slowly.

Harry’s smiling at Louis, dimple and all, and it’s so inviting and so warm that Louis can’t help but smile back.

“So,” Harry begins. “How’ve you been, Lou?”

 


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High school AU. In which Louis is a selfless teenager who helps his family get by in their shitty neighborhood. When he gets a new job at the local bakery though, things change thanks to the boy with green eyes that Louis used to know so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this took a really long time to update and (hopefully) that won't happen again. i listened to [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar48yzjn1PE) while writing this chapter, so you should (if you can) listen to it either before/during/after you read. enjoy :) <3

Louis wakes up on Friday morning with a bunch of blonde hair in his mouth.

“What the—“ he chokes out. When he finally comes to his sense, Louis feels the hair in his mouth and frantically spits it out. “Who is this?”

“It’s me,” says a muffled voice.

Groaning, Louis carefully rolls over and onto his back, sitting up thereafter. He blinks his eyes furiously as his vision is still bleary. Only getting five hours of sleep for three weeks in a row does that to you, apparently.

“I can’t tell who you are unless you show me your face,” Louis mumbles quietly, tickling his little sister whose head is still stuffed into the pillow.

“Hey!” She protests, squealing. “Stop! Lou!”

“Show me your face first,” Louis chides, grinning.

His sister moves her head so that her face is kind of visible from where it’s smushed against a pillow. It’s Daisy, and although she was laughing a little while ago, any trace of happiness has completely been wiped off her face when she looks up into Louis’ eyes.

“What’s the matter, love?” Louis murmurs, concerned. He pats his sister’s head and then starts to push her hair out of her eyes.

Daisy takes a shuddering breath and worries her bottom lip between her teeth. “It’s mum.”

“What about her?”

The little girl gulps as her eyes slowly brim with tears. “She’s—she’s gone again, Lou.”

Louis feels his throat tighten up, and he heavily lets his back fall against the headrest of the bed. He feels as though the heaviest bricks in the world have suddenly dropped onto his shoulders once again. The responsibility he has usually drifts away from his mind while he sleeps but it’s things like this—things like seeing his little sister come to _him_ for help at five o’ fucking clock in the morning—that remind him that his “job” is never ending, basically. (He never signed up for this, never signed up to be a parent at seventeen. He does the job, however, because he really does love his sisters more than anything and he’s been taking care of them for years anyway. Sometimes, though, he can’t help but wish things were different.)

“How do you know?” Louis asks as he curls and uncurls his fingers, trying to get his body to stop being numb. He really thought that his mum was done from running away from her problems, but apparently he had been wrong.

“She came into our room a couple o’ hours ago and kissed me and Pheebs on the forehead when we were sleeping. I dunno, I think she sat down on the bed next to me or something and that woke me up because I thought it was you wakin’ us up for school. But it was her and she told me not to worry, that she was gonna go away for a bit. I thought it was a dream.” Daisy sniffles and her lip wobbles. “All her stuff’s gone, though.” She sighs and wiggles into Louis’ side. “Why doesn’t she want us, Lou?”

Louis flinches as his sister’s words hit him harder than a freight train running at top speed. He’s always tried his best to make his sisters feel loved and until now, he hadn’t realized how sad they must really be feeling. “Hey, babe,” Louis whispers as he wipes the tears on Daisy’s face away with his thumbs. “Don’t you ever think that, okay? Mum doesn’t know how to show it sometimes, but she really does love you. _I_ love you. She’s just _scared_ , Dais.”

Daisy looks up at him, eyes searching her brother’s face, and then, finally, she speaks again after a minute of complete silence. “Lou, there’s. There’s something else.”

Louis licks his lip and furrows his eyebrows curiously. His heart rate picks up and his palms start sweating uncomfortably. “What’s that?” He chokes out.

“She—she told me she’s running away with _someone._ Like, her _boy_ friend.” Daisy gulps and sniffles again. “I think she said his name is Ben.”

“Ben?” Louis asks, skeptical. “She never told me she was seeing anyone.”

Daisy shrugs awkwardly, still pressed down on the bed. “Well you know mum.”

“Exactly,” Louis says affirimitvely. “I know mum and so do you. And—we know that she gets a little, well. _Emotional_ at times, so. Don’t take this to heart, okay?”

Daisy sighs. “I suppose you’re right.”

Louis smiles faintly, rubbing his sister’s back. “I’m always right. Now go wake up your sister and get ready for school.”

Daisy smiles fondly and rolls out of bed with a yawn. “Try not to burn the toast today.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I couldn’t _not_ burn it if I tried.” He smiles when he hears Daisy’s laugh down the hall, and then his smile grows brighter when he hears his sister wake up the others.

***

When breakfast is ready and everyone is seated at the table, Louis starts talking.

“Dunno if you’ve heard by now, but basically, mum’s gone. Again.”

There’s a simultaneous groan from around the table, apart from Daisy who’s picking the edges off of her toast and pretending like she doesn’t care. Louis knows it’s an act though. He knows that in all of his sister’s minds right now, they’re panicking; after all, he’s the same way.

“Guys, I know it’s hard. Believe me, I hate this as much as you all do. But really, I think mum’s got a problem. She can’t help but think things are gonna become fucked up when everything’s going so smoothly.”

“So she thinks it’s okay for her to run out on us—her _family--_ when she gets _scared!?_ ” Lottie yells, dropping her fork. It clatters against her plate noisily, shattering the silence that came following her voice. Her eyes are a deep icy blue when they meet Louis’ across the table.

Louis shakes his head helplessly. “I don’t think she means to, but—“

“But _what_?” Lottie says, fuming. “She’s a fucking pussy. She can’t deal with her life so she ups and runs away. She needs to stay the fuck away from us from now on. It’s not fair! We can’t pretend to be a fucking happy family—“

“Charlotte.” Louis says coldly, slamming his cup of tea on the wooden table. “She is you _mum._ Stop disrespecting her!”

“How about _you_ stop making excuses for her. Yeah, Lou?” Lottie says, voice shaking. “Man the fuck up and see what she’s doing to this house. She needs to make up her mind and stop pretending to be a good mother when she’s here. She has never done anything for us and she _never_ will.” Standing up, she grabs her bag and walks out the front door. The slam of it makes everyone at the table flinch.

Louis looks down at his hands and feels his eyes well up with tears. Before he can do anything else though, there are bodies gripping his torso tightly, hugging him with all their might.

He lets out a throaty chuckle that sounds more helpless than he’d like it to.

“We love you,” Fizzy whispers into Louis’ hair.

“You’re the best, Lou,” Phoebe says, kissing Louis’ cheek.

Daisy kisses Louis’ other cheek. “We’re thankful for everything you do for us.”

Louis smiles and sniffles. “Oh I know. And don’t you lovely girls _ever_ think that I’m going to leave you because I will _never_ do that. You can _always_ count on me, okay?”

“We know, Lou.” Fizzy says. Then, they all untangle their limbs and the girls begin putting the breakfast things away while Louis watches them in silence.

When they finish clearing the table, Louis gets up and grabs his own bag. “You’ve all got your lunches?”

“Yes, Lou,” the girls say in unison.

Louis laughs, heart swelling with love for his sisters. “Alright then. Let’s head out, yeah?”

The girls file out one by one and once Louis locks the door, after they all say their goodbyes, they head out east towards their bus stop while Louis goes west towards his.  

On his way, with sweaty palms, Louis pulls out his cell phone and dials his mum’s number, panicking once again. The phone goes to voicemail straight away and Louis feels sick to his stomach with worry. He dials the number, again and again, until he reaches his bus stop. It’s only a minute before the bus arrives and he spends the ride listening to music quietly, as Zayn’s not there to keep him company. He tries to block out all thoughts of his mum, all thoughts of being abandoned _again._

It kind of works, though. He thinks about his new job at the bakery and how nice it has been ever since he started working there. He has Harry to talk to again and somehow, even after all the shit they went through, they manage to click like two pieces of a puzzle. It’s nice for Louis to not have to talk about his mum and school and the girls; he quite enjoys listening to Harry tell long, unexciting stories in his calming voice.

He smiles a little as he hops out of the bus and walks into school, heading straight into his first period class. He’s not in the mood to talk to his friends just yet, but he figures he just needs time to think of what he’ll _say_ to them.

Louis has an assignment that he needs to finish at lunch, so he works quietly in the library alone, fortunately not seeing his friends once. He still hasn’t thought of what he would say to them about his mum if he did, as they would notice that something’s wrong immediately. Zayn texts him during maths to ask if everything is okay and Louis replies, _Of course :),_ easily enough. He manages not to think about his mum for the rest of the day, even though Louis does feel a sort of heavy weight on his back the whole time.

It’s not until he’s at the bakery that Louis’ forced to remember the shit that happened that morning.

“Hey, Lou!” Harry chirps from behind the counter, smiling brightly. (His last class is a free period, so he manages to come to work a half-hour earlier than Louis does.)

“Hello Hazza,” Louis smiles back. He goes to the back to put his bag away in the little “employees” room, picking up his apron on his way out.

“You look tired,” Harry comments as Louis pulls up a stool and sits down behind the register.

“You have no idea, mate,” Louis sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“Up early today?”

“Mmm,” Louis yawns. “Daisy woke me up.”

Harry frowns and leans towards Louis on the counter, resting his chin in his hands. “Everything okay?”

Louis’ heart stutters because, _no._ Things aren’t supposed to go this way. He’s _not_ supposed to have this conversation with Harry. Their friendship is supposed to be _easygoing_ now.

He does what he knows best, now. He smiles and lies through his teeth. “Yup. She wanted help with a project she needed to finish.”

“Oh,” Harry says. Then he smiles, teasing. “Well look at you, then. All smart and old, helping your girls with projects for school.”

Louis snorts. “Mate, I’ve done a lot more than that and you know it.”

Harry laughs. “Good point. So d’you have any plans for this weekend?”

Louis sighs and watches Harry as the other boys leans up to stretch. Clearing his throat and trying not to flush, Louis replies, “Not much, y’know. My friends are dragging me to a party on Friday, though.” After he says the words, he instantly regrets them.

“Oh,” Harry says looking baffled. “You’re going to _Niall’s_ party?”

Louis had forgotten momentarily that Niall and Harry are best friends. He had forgotten that they hung out with a _different_ crowd that was into _different_ things. He totally understands why Harry sounds confused. To be honest, he had been confused when Zayn told him they were going too.

“Yeah,” Louis laughs. “Why? D’you not want me there?”

Harry’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. He looks genuinely guilty and sad and he’s quick to say, “Nonono! I was just surprised, is all.”

Laughing, Louis says, “Understandable. Don’t worry, though. I’ll stay out of your hairs.”

“Heeey,” Harry protests, pouting with his obscenely pink lips that Louis has to force himself not to stare at. “You should hang with me! It’ll be like old times.”

Louis gulps, then smiles weekly. “Haz and Lou, the inseparable mates.”

“Exactly,” Harry beams.

After a couple of seconds in silence, Harry goes out back and returns with a broom. He starts sweeping the floors and Louis takes this as a means of starting conversation again since the silence is so eerie.

“So,” he says. “Are you still with Nick Grimshaw?”

Harry’s answer is hesitant, and he doesn’t look up at Louis when he replies, “Dunno, really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Harry shrugs. “We’ve been on and off for a while. Things were great two years ago but I think it’s kind of fizzling out now.”

Louis nods his head like he understands, when he really doesn’t. He feels a sharp pang in his chest--maybe jealously, but he’d like to think it remorse—and the thought that the words _old feelings die hard_ have never felt truer to him.

“It’s cool, though,” Harry continues. “I think I’m actually fine with it. We’re not really that couple-y anymore, to be honest. Actually just the best of mates.”

Louis hums in acknowledgement, unsure of what to say now that he brought up the topic.

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to because Harry seems to be in a mood to keep up a long conversation today. “What about you?” He asks. “Are you seeing anyone?” He looks up from where he’s sweeping the floors and his eyes meet Louis’ across the room.

Louis picks at the hem of his sleeve. “Nah,” he says. “Haven’t really got time for dating and all of that.”

“Well you are quite the busy man,” Harry laughs. “Maybe I could introduce you to someone at the party?”

“That sounds great--and I know I’m cool with you and all--but I don’t think your friends would _like_ me Harry,” Louis chuckles.

“Oh nonsense,” Harry says. “ _Everyone_ loves _you_.”

Louis swallows thickly and looks at Harry who has got a small smile playing on his lips. “We’re both quite the charmers, are we not?”

“Indeed we are,” Harry laughs. “The best of the best.”

The conversation continues to flow easily between the two boys and when Harry goes out to throw away the trash, Louis can’t help but think that after all these years, after all the fights and the name calling and the periods of “no talking” they went through, he still feels the same way about Harry. He feels the exact way he did when he was five and a boy with a big smile and even bigger bright green eyes approached him in the playground and asked him if he could play _Power Rangers_ with him. He feels the same way he did when the same boy, at age ten, threw him the biggest party for his birthday and snuck out into the garden with him to eat their chocolate cake together while everyone else watched _The Lion King_ inside. He feels the same way he did when, just two years ago, everything truly went to shit and he began hating himself more than he thought possible.

He knows that he has always loved Harry, from day one, and he knows that ultimately, that will be the thing that destroys him.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High school AU. In which Louis is a selfless teenager who helps his family get by in their shitty neighborhood. When he gets a new job at the local bakery though, things change thanks to the boy with green eyes that Louis used to know so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii. so, just a warning of sorts. there are multiple pairings in this fic, but h/l are endgame, i assure you :)
> 
> enjoy + thank you for reading!! <3

On Thursday night, Louis pulls out a dusty duffel bag from underneath the closet in the staircase, surprised to even find a leftover one down there in the first place. He smacks all of the dust on the bag off with a badminton racket in the garden, and then he trudges upstairs and into the three younger girls’ room. He packs a clean pair of pajamas for each of the girls, as well as an outfit for them to wear on Saturday.

He had talked to Zayn’s mum on the phone earlier and they had decided that Louis would pick the girls up from the Malik household on Saturday afternoon. Zayn would stay over at Louis’ on Friday night, just so Mrs. Malik wouldn’t have to worry about him waking up the little girls when he would surely walk in at around arse-o-clock in the morning.

Louis sits on the floor in the middle of the room and looks outside the window that’s directly across from him. The moon is hanging big and bright, a yellow that he never associated with the moon before, and Louis closes his eyes and hopes with all his heart that the moon dust repairs his body and soul. On nights like this particular one, Louis is overcome with sadness so powerful that it makes his bones ache and his heart break. He hates this feeling.

He remembers when he was little, his mum used to tell him stories about the man on the moon and how he sprinkles dust over the people on Earth who need their body to be healed. He really never believed that story, doesn’t even believe it now, but still. He figures he needs all the help he can get if he wants to feel better before the party tomorrow. He definitely can’t go to one feeling as bad as he does now.

Grabbing the bag and getting to his feet, Louis walks over to Lottie’s room. The door is closes, as usual, but he places the bag outside of it anyway. He figures she’s smart enough to understand what to do when she sees it outside.

“Fizz!” Louis calls from the top of the stairs.

There’s a shuffling sound and then a couple of seconds later, Fizzy pokes her head in the stairwell. “Yeah?”

“Have you girls cleaned up the dinner table?”

“Yep,” Fizzy nods. Then, “Hey, Lou? I’ve got a question about my Grammar homework. Could you look it over?”

“Sure,” Louis says, going down the stairs and over to the living room. Daisy and Phoebe are glued to the TV and Fizzy’s homework is scattered around the coffee table. There’s a beanbag next to the table, and Fizzy is sitting in the seat now, looking at Louis expectantly.

He helps her out the best he can and then tells her she needs to be upstairs for bed in ten minutes. Fizzy knows she needs to clean up the living room, so Louis kisses her forehead and grabs the twins, holding each of their arms, and marching them upstairs and to the toilet.

He watches the girls brush their teeth, then leaves them in there to put on their pajamas. Louis heads over to his own room to change his clothes, but outside the door, he notices the duffel bag he put outside of Lottie’s door earlier. Peeking inside, he sees Lottie’s things. Sighing, he picks up the bag and puts on his coat instead.

Lottie’s door is still closed so he walks over to the other girls’ room instead. The twins are in bed wrapped up in their blankets, and Fizzy is sitting on hers, putting on a pair of socks.

“I’m gonna go drop the overnight bag off at Zayn’s place, alright?” He tells the girls.

They all hum in acknowledgement and he goes over to each of their beds, kissing them on the forehead and whispering goodnight.

After he has put on his ratty old VANS and his olive green raincoat, Louis steps out into the light drizzle with the duffle bag in his hand. There are barely any streetlights in his neighborhood, so Louis keeps his eyes and ears opened, not in the mood to bump into anyone unexpectedly. The people in this area aren’t exactly the _friendliest_ and Louis has learned after growing up in this place that he has to keep his guard up.

He finds himself wondering what his life would be like if things had turned out differently for him and his sisters. If there mum wasn’t such an emotional wreck, would his sisters be happier? If she could keep a job for more than two weeks, would they be living in a house on the other side of town? Would he have been able to grow up carefree? Would he have been able to get a boyfriend and not be afraid of what the people would do to him?

He shakes his head up at the sky, tiny raindrops falling onto his face, because he really wishes the weight of the world would fall from his shoulders. He doesn’t like having to feel like a father of four when he’s only eighteen. He doesn’t like _not_ feeling like a teenager. The truth (that he would probably never admit to _anyone_ ) is that he really misses not getting to do the things that his friends do so carelessly. He wishes he could go to all the parties; drink all the booze that he wants, sleep with all the boys that he wants, and do incredibly stupid things that he would no doubt regret for the rest of his life. It’s unfortunate that he’ll never get to any of that.

There are some moments (like when Zayn invited him to Niall’s party) when he does feel like— _okay, maybe things will be okay for me._ But then his mum skips town, one of his sisters freaks out, or the bills come in; then, he remembers that things are far from okay. And they aren’t looking to turn okay any time soon either.

He’s going to a party tomorrow and that’s surprising enough on its own. As he climbs the stairs to Zayn’s house and rings the doorbell, he crosses his fingers and hopes that his mind will let him be a crazy teenager for once.

***

Niall Horan lives in a massive house on top of a massive hill. Liam has to park his car at the bottom of the hill where everyone else who is attending the party has seemed to have parked theirs. Louis, Liam, and Zayn begin their trek up along a narrow path with about ten other people who are already smashed and, therefore, also heading to Niall’s party.

The walk is short and Zayn and Liam whisper to each other animatedly about the party they are soon to be attending. Louis, on the other hand, tries to steady his breathing and mentally gives himself a pep talk. _Relax,_ he tells himself. _Just have fun._

The first thing Louis notices is that there are people _everywhere._ In the front yard, the party goers are lying amongst the beer bottles and empty bags of chips. Most people are either snogging someone, or trying to chat someone up.

The next thing Louis notices is just how big Niall’s house is. It’s wide and tall and there are countless visible windows with light pouring out of them. The house itself is a clean white color—edging on looking Victorian but somehow managing to look modern at the same time. There are vines trailing up the sides of it, making it look like something you would see in a rich, gated community of muti-millionaires. Louis has to remind himself that Niall is the son of a millionaire, for he sure as hell never acts like one in school.

Niall’s the kind of boy who talks to everyone, if not is _friends_ with everyone. He doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone’s backgrounds, or just about anything else. Not in a bad way, though. He’s a relaxed person, and it surprises Louis so much that Niall is part of _Harry’s_ group of friends.

(But then again, it surprises Louis that _Harry_ is a part of Harry’s group of friends, so.)

Although Louis and Niall were never that great of friends, he always seemed to get along with Zayn really well. Hence why the three of them were invited to the party (seeing as none of them would dream of going to one without the other two by his side).

The music is really loud inside the house, and the whole first floor seems to have been transformed into a dance floor. People are dancing and grinding on each other to some dubstep track, and the entire atmosphere seems intimate in a way—even if there are more people inside than in their whole year at school.

Louis looks around the place with curious eyes. When he finally sees a room that could be the kitchen—judging by the amount of people returning from it with drinks in their hands--he makes his way over, waving to Liam and Zayn who are both already talking to girls they know.

As Louis finds himself a clean glass and fills it up with beer from a keg, he wonders if he could be like Liam and Zayn—the social butterflies—if he had more time for himself. He’s always busy when it comes to parties and such; he thinks that maybe he doesn’t have as many friends as they do because he never goes out, never shows his face outside of school.

Louis is snapped out of his reverie when he hears a thud and then two people giggling. He brings his drink to his mouth and takes a sip while his eyebrows rise to his hairline.  

It’s quiet for a second. Louis keeps taking little sips as to seem preoccupied when the two people undoubtedly step out into the light.

When they do, Louis almost chokes.

It’s Harry and Nick.

They both look disheveled and are clearly out of breath. Harry’s lips are red and swollen, and Nick is still grabbing his ass while he bites his own lip.

Neither of them notices Louis, who is standing there looking at their appearances. They have most definitely been fucking, seeing as Harry’s fly is down and Nick’s button is open. The thudding was most likely the two of them getting out of the pantry which they were fucking in and that—just, ew. Because there’s _food_ in there.

Louis shivers, ignoring the pang in his gut that feels a lot like the jealously he used to be so used to. He brings his cup down to the keg again, filling it up with beer, and when he looks back up, both boys’ eyes are on him.

Harry is blushing, but smiling a little still. Nick looks disgusted, standing there with his nose up in the air.

It’s quiet. The tension is thick enough to cut.

Then, “Hey, Lou,” Harry says shyly.

Louis takes a sip of his drink and nods at Harry, smiling a little. He turns a little ways away from them, so he is no longer facing them directly.

He’s thinking of making his way out of the kitchen, but before he can do so, there’s a loud squeaking of shoes against the tiles. Out of the corner of his eye, Louis sees Nick walk out of the kitchen brashly.

Harry sighs and walks over to Louis. He silently picks up an empty cup and fills it up with beer for himself.

“So,” he says after a moment. “How are you liking the party?”

Louis shrugs, sipping his drink and avoiding eye contact. “Only just got here.”

“Oh,” Harry says. “So how are things then?”

Louis rolls his eyes and laughs at Harry’s failed attempt to make small talk. He looks over to the other boy who is biting back a smile. “Only just saw you yesterday, mate,” he says while grinning. “Not much has changed since then.”

“That’s true, I guess,” Harry mumbles, smiling back. His eyes are shining bright and Louis knows the boy is a little bit tipsy.

Louis shakes his head at Harry. Then, he smirks, pointedly looking down at Harry’s crotch area. “Your fly’s undone.”

Harry’s eyes bulge out of their sockets and he grimaces. “Whoops,” he says, handing his beer over to Louis while he pulls up the zip. “Better?”

Louis nods and hands Harry his cup back. They stand there, just the two of them, drowning in the loud music and their thoughts.

“Hey, so,” Harry begins, scratching the back of his neck. “Let me introduce you to my friends.”

Louis throws him a confused look. “I don’t think they _want_ me to be introduced to them,” he says, laughing nervously.

“They’re not all douche bags,” Harry sighs. “C’mon. I have a feeling you’ll get along with some of them.”

Louis licks his lips and looks out into the living room area. Liam and Zayn are nowhere to be seen, so he just shrugs eventually. “Fine. I’ve not got anything better to do anyway.”

Harry looks pleased. “Follow me, then,” he says, grabbing Louis’ arm and tugging him into the hallway.

Louis meets a couple of people who are nice to him--asking him how he is and such—and a couple of people who clearly don’t want to be seen around him. Harry doesn’t hang by those people for too long. Louis thinks that maybe the other boy has Louis’ best interest in mind after all.

Finally, they get around into the living room, close to where the speaker system is. Nick is at the music control station, DJ-ing his heart out, and close to him stands Greg James, wincing down at the drink in his hands.

“Hey Greg,” Harry says, getting right up in Greg’s personal space. (Louis has noticed that Harry and his friends don’t really _have_ any personal space. They love being close together, constantly touching. Maybe Louis gets along with Harry so well because he likes that too. Constantly touching, that is.)

“Hey,” Greg says. He looks quite sober, like Louis is.

“This is my mate, Louis,” Harry grins. “Louis, this is Greg.”

Greg beams, outstretching his hand. “Hey, I know youuu!” He says to Louis excitedly.

Suddenly, Louis’ mouth goes dry and he feels nauseous, almost—

“We had maths together last year!” Greg finishes.

Louis sighs in relief. He takes Greg’s large hand in his and shakes it firmly. “Yep, I think we did! How are you?”

“Just peachy, to be honest.” Greg’s face is contorted. He looks disgusted as he peers down into his cup.

“Peachy? Well. What’s wrong, then?”

Greg shivers and shows Louis the inside of his glass.

Louis almost gags. There are pieces of food floating around in the drink. “What the fuck _is_ that?”

“Either someone threw up in it when I put it down or they dropped their food in it.”

“I hope it was the second thing.”

“Fuck, me too.” Greg shakes his head and throws a hand up in mock-outrage. “And you know what’s the grossest thing of all? I almost drank it!”

“Ew,” Louis mutters. He and Greg shiver simultaneously.

They hit it off from there, basically. They start talking about random things and find that they have a lot more in common than they originally would have ever thought. About half an hour later, when there’s finally a lull in the conversation, Louis looks around.

“I totally didn’t even notice that Harry left,” he laughs, nodding towards the curly-haired boy who is standing with Nick and a bunch of people Louis doesn’t know. And, well. That’s a first.

“Time flies by when you’re having fun,” Greg wiggles his eyebrows, looking at Louis with hooded eyes.

Louis hadn’t even noticed how close together they ended up standing. Greg is basically now pressed up against Louis and for the first time in a long while, Louis doesn’t mind.

He realizes how much he wants _this_ —wants Greg, wants _sex_ —when Greg puts his hand on the small of Louis’ back. He bends down to Louis’ ear and nips on the lobe. “How about we take this upstairs, then?”

Louis leans into Greg’s side and looks up at him. He didn’t even think that this conversation could ever turn into something sexual, but. He supposes with some people, everything is easy. The conversation, the sex. He thinks that maybe Greg is one of those people.

He finds out not too long after that he is right. Greg is so, _so_ much taller than Louis, and his body completely engulfs Louis’, making him feel _needy_. When they find an empty room, their mouths meet heatedly while Louis is pressed up against the door, and in no time at all, they’ve shed their clothes and made their way to the bed.

Greg fucks into Louis relentlessly after he has prepped the smaller boy hurriedly. Louis moans into Greg’s shoulder, pressing his finger tips to Greg’s hips as hard as he gets fucked. It’s fast and it seems to be over in no time, but it’s what Louis needs.

Afterwards, when they’ve got their clothes on, they head downstairs together. Greg whispers a _See you later_ into Louis’ ear, and then, he’s gone.

Louis is left to himself to find Liam and Zayn. While he looks for them around Niall’s enormous house, he can’t help but feel dirty.

He doesn’t understand why. Not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY for updating after ages. i haven't forgotten about this fic, or fallen off the face of the earth. i've just been REALLY unmotivated. but here's something!

**Author's Note:**

> as always, you can talk to me on my [tumblr](http://txmlinsxn.tumblr.com/) ! thanks for reading <3333


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